999 to become a premium rate number

In an effort to increase emergency service funding, Theresa May has said that 999 may become a premium rate number costing users £3 a minute.

The Conservative Party believe that the switch would provide much needed income to the emergency services as well as lower the number of unnecessary calls.

‘This would be a real money spinner for the NHS as well as the police and fire departments,’
said May. ‘Up to 10% of the profits made could be diverted to their services.’

When the Prime Minister was asked about people who might not be able to afford a £10+ phone call, May quickly went on the offensive.

‘If your life isn’t worth £10 then whatever trouble you’re in isn’t a real emergency,’ she said.

Under the plan, 999 would become 099 which some critics of the plan have said would cause ‘potentially deadly confusion.’

‘But they’re the exact kind of idiots we can do without anyway. That’s just social evolution,’ said the PM.

Making 999 a premium rate number will come up for parliamentary discussion as soon as the Brexit plan is finished.

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