Army officials uncertain whether recruitment numbers down or if camouflage is getting better

Top army officials have been forced to admit that they’re uncertain whether recruitment levels are down or if camouflage is just getting better, according to latest reports.

While it was previously believe that army recruitment figures had dropped to as low as 80,000 a year in the UK, officials believe that as many as 50,000 a year go unaccounted for due to the new and improved camouflage technology.

‘I don’t think the numbers are as low as previous reports suggest,’ said General Kala. ‘Camouflage technology has improved leaps and bounds with fibre optics and some recruits are simply putting on their uniform and going about their jobs very stealthily. We’re talking Predator levels of awesomeness here.’

We tried to talk to some of these recruits but were simply unable to find them. Do they even exist? It’s hard to say, and it’s that kind of subterfuge that makes the British army one of the best in the world.

‘You can’t hit what you can’t see, and you certainly can’t hit what doesn’t exist,’ said General Kala.