A global census has revealed that Britain now produces 94% of all the world’s Ians, an all-time high for the proud nation.
Ians may not always be the smartest of men but they are loyal, honest and hard-working. The exact type of people an economy needs to prosper.
Britain can claim ownership of almost nine-and-a-half Ians out of ten, according to the census. The next closest nation is the USA with just 4% of all Ians.
Brexiters are ‘over the moon’ at the news, which they say shows that Britain is still a force to be reckoned with as a global superpower.
‘If any other country wants an Ian, they have to come through us. That is an incredible position of power in any trade negotiation,’ said one Brexiter.
The ‘British Ian Boom’ is being credited to strong British Ians such as Sir Ian McKellen, Ian McShane and, of course, Ian Beale.