Cat claims he can quit catnip ‘anytime he wants’

A local cat with a penchant for catnip is claiming that he only uses it to relax and that he can quit ‘anytime he wants’.

Friends and family of Oscar The Cat, 6, are growing concerned that he is becoming increasing dependent on the herb. Oscar claims otherwise.

‘Look, I have a stressful life, okay? Sometimes I don’t know when my human slave is next going to let me in or out the house. So, yes, I like a little catnip now and again. But I can quit it anytime I want,’ said Oscar.

But Oscar’s friends aren’t convinced. They cite his increasingly erratic behaviour as evidence of his addiction.

‘He used to be on the ball but now his memory is like a sieve. You meow to him and he just laughs and instantly forgets what you said,’ his friend Tommy told us.

Oscar’s collection of human slaves have already attempted to stage an intervention but he just scratched the shit out of them.

To be fair though, Oscar didn’t realise it was an intervention, he just felt like doing it.

‘That’s my prerogative as a cat.’