There’s been an outpouring of grief in the community after a local pet cat was diagnosed with a terminal case of curiosity.
Mr Biscuits, 9, was diagnosed with curiosity after his owner noticed that he was being a right little nosy bastard at all hours, day and night.
‘I knew something was wrong but nothing could prepare me for the news we got,’ said Sally White, owner of Mr Biscuits.
The biggest danger to furry feline companions has been curiosity ever since cats began to practice safe sex after an outbreak of feline AIDS in the 1980s.
‘Curiosity is a terminal condition in cats which often leads to them putting themselves in dangerous situations,’ said Dr Louise Girglestone.
Curiosity might kill the cat, but the local community has rallied round Mr Biscuits in his time of need. They’ve bought him a small sofa to scratch the fuck out of and several pairs of shoes for him to piss in.
‘It’s exactly what he wanted in his time of need,’ said Sally.