Charles Manson turns down Cabinet position due to failing health

Weird, charismatic cult leader Donald Trump has revealed his disappointment after Charles Manson was forced to turn down a Cabinet position due to failing health.

With Manson being hospitalised yesterday in a situation being described as ‘serious’, he believed it wasn’t a good time to take on such a stressful job.

‘I love Donald. We have a lot of the same ideas on race and the future of America. But the timing was just wrong for me,’ Manson said in an issued press statement.

Manson will now also be unable to provide the music for Trump’s inauguration later this month, a double blow for the President-elect.

‘He was out headliner,’
admitted Trump. ‘It looks like I’m going to have to give Ted Nugent a call.’

Trump has asked that all his followers keep ‘Uncle Charlie’ in their thoughts and prayers.

‘He laid the foundation for my movement, he really did.’

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