Scientists from across the disc have come forward to admit that the Earth is indeed flat, and they’ve just been fucking with us for all these years.
Amidst recent increased speculation, scientists have been forced to step out of the shadows and admit that the Earth isn’t spherical, it is actually flat.
‘We’ve got to hold up our hands on this one, we’ve been caught,’ said one NASA employee. ‘I can confirm that the Earth is as a flat a pancake.’
But why, after all these years would scientists come forward and drop this bombshell on the people of the planes?
‘Well originally it was going to lead to a big April Fool’s Day reveal, but we just couldn’t wait. You should have seen the looks on your faces.’
And this has all been fantastic news for flat Earthers, who have been greatly ridiculed throughout recent history.
‘I knew those scientists were just talking a load of old bollocks. Living on a globe? We’d all fall off, it’s obvious,’ said Kyrie Irving, a basketball player of some accomplishment.
Yet the question remains why would scientists keep this a secret from us for all these years?
‘Just a bit of a laugh really,’ said Neil DeGrasse Tyson.