God denies allegations of sexual misconduct with teenage virgin

God has come forward to strenuously deny allegations that He behaved in a sexually inappropriate manner with a young teenage girl who was a virgin at the time they met.

The accuser, who doesn’t wish to be named, claims that God snuck into her room in the dead of night and proceeded to have His way with her even though she was just fourteen at the time.

Not only does she claim God assaulted her that night, she also claims she fell pregnant as a result of the union.

‘I don’t know how he can have the cheek to deny what I’m saying. Nine months later I had a fucking magical baby,
‘ she said.

However, God denies these allegations, claiming that the woman is only coming forward now for a payday.

‘She’s just another teen whore after a piece of my Kingdom. And the “magic baby” thing is ridiculous, it just shows how crazy she is,’
said God.

God has previously paid out a sizable settlement to another woman with similar claims.