Sources within 10 Downing Street have revealed that the government is at breaking point after Theresa May turned up at work yet again.
Many within the cabinet were hoping that the prime minister would take a long weekend after she made the difficult decision to let Priti Patel resign yesterday.
‘May’s just getting under everyone’s feet at this point. And she looks so sad and pathetic that even we are starting to feel something akin to your human emotion of empathy,’ said one anonymous minister.
Others have equated it to the inmates running the asylum while one lone guard watches on from behind bars with tears in their eyes.
It would seem, at this point, that the only end to this chaos would be to dissolve the government and hold another election. However this is something Theresa May is said to be dead against.
‘I’ve never liked the idea of snap elections. They’re a fool’s errand,’ she said.