Jesus denies knowing Phil Collins

Jesus Christ has gone on the record to deny ever even meeting Phil Collins, despite the Genesis frontman singing a song entitled ‘Jesus He Knows Me’.

The song reached number 20 in the UK charts back in 1992, but now Jesus has come forward to deny the assertion that he knows Collins.

‘He’s a gobshite,’ said Jesus. ‘I’ve never even met the man, as far as I’m aware. So to say we know each other would be a gross overstatement. And I certainly don’t know him biblically, if that’s what he’s claiming.’

But why has it taken almost thirty years for Jesus to come forward and dispute Phil’s claim?

‘I’m more of a Peter Gabriel guy, so I didn’t really pay Genesis much attention after he left. I’ve only just heard the song. Plus, you know, I’m like my dad – I move in mysterious ways.’

It’s believed that Jesus won’t pursue any sort of legal retribution against Phil Collins.

‘He’s Phil Collins. That’s punishment enough.’