Man refuses to eat body of Christ unless it’s gluten-free

A local Christian has refused to take part in the Holy Communion unless the church proves that the body of Christ is 100% gluten-free.

Zeppo Arkwright, 34, is concerned that his gluten intolerance might be triggered by the bread handed out by his church as part of the Holy Communion.

‘I’m all for eating the flesh of a demi-God but gluten makes me come out in a rash and I get a bit of brain fog. So unless the church can prove the bread is actually flesh and not gluten, I’m out,’ said Zeppo.

And the Anti-Gluten League are backing Zeppo all the way, saying that it’s high-time the church did more for coeliac sufferers and the gluten intolerant.

‘No-one wants to eat gluten in this day and age. The church needs to get with the time and introduce a gluten-free body of Christ or it risks losing even more followers,’
said Mark Zubat, a spokesperson for the AGL.

The church has responded by saying that the bread served to its followers is 100% Christ and would cause no damage to the gluten intolerant.

‘Have some fuckin’ faith, would ya,’
said the Pope.