Police are claiming that they discovered thousands of images of pigs on the work computer of David Cameron when he was PM, but were ordered to remain silent for the sake of ‘national security’.
Cameron could often be seen carrying a laptop with him which he used to revise speeches as well as keep up with the news of the day.
But it was when he accidentally left his laptop in the pub that it was returned by one honest citizen to the police. Their cyber division accessed the hard drive to discover the owner and were shocked by the contents.
‘There were a few documents there but literally thousands of pictures of many different kinds of pigs. Nothing sexual but there was an almost sensual element to them,’ said one police officer.
The case caused a division within the police. There were those who wanted to refer to the pictures as ‘porkographic’, whilst others preferred ‘pornhographic’. Porkographic eventually won out though and was the term they used to David Cameron when telling him they had his laptop.
Within minutes, several members of MI5 came and collected the computer. The police were warned never to speak of the contents.
‘But most of us have been laid off now due to budget cutbacks, so fuck it,’ our source told us.
David Cameron has responded to the allegations, calling them a bunch of ‘porkies’.