Potential nuclear winter not expected to change British weather much

Defiant Brits have revealed they are unconcerned by the impending nuclear winter because they are already experiencing one.

As America and North Korea threaten to plunge the World into oblivion, the UK has been waging its own war against the weather with many experiencing an atrocious August. Grey skies and low temperatures have blighted what is traditionally the hottest month of the year.

Londoner Mary Frank told us: ‘When I woke up this morning it was pissing down again and pitch black. If they drop the bomb then so what? At least it might warm things up a bit.’

In preparation, Boots has begun to sell drizzle cream that protects against radiation to help Britain survive any nuclear blowback.

Weather forecaster Zane Chopper said: ‘August has been pretty dismal but there is hope that September will see high temperatures and lots of sunshine. We’re not too sure about the weather in October because by then we’ll probably all be mutant zombies living off the charred remains of the dead.’