Pub landlord has ‘foolproof plan’ to end ISIS

Eric Cotter, a local pub landlord, claims to have come up with a foolproof plan of ending the ISIS organization once and for all, despite having no political or military background.

Cotter revealed the plan to his close confidant ‘Tipsy Ted’ Edward Lincoln after the pair had shared several drinks together. An anonymous eye witness revealed the details exclusive to us at The Daily Squat.

‘What you want to do is tell them that we surrender and that we want to hash out a peace agreement, right? Then you book some shithole meeting place in Syria, yeah? Tell them to send all their leaders and that we’ll send Jeremy fucking Corbyn since he’s so keen on talking to them. Then, once they’re all locked in that room together you bomb the shit out of the place until there’s nothing but dust left.

‘Without their leaders ISIS will be a headless chicken, ready for the plucking. Easy as that, Ted. Easy as that,’ Cotter was heard whispering to Ted whilst ‘What’s New Pussycat’ played on the jukebox.

The plan has since found its way to David Cameron who has said that it is ‘not without its merits.’