‘Queen Elizabeth II died years ago and it’s been covered up’, claims former royal staffer

A former member of the royal staff is claiming that Queen Elizabeth II ISN’T still sick with a cold – because she’s been dead for over SIX years AND her death is part of a massive cover-up at Buckingham Palace.

According to our source (whom wishes to remain anonymous due to fears on his life), the Queen died of natural causes over six years ago but NO-ONE outside a select circle of royal staff members knows the truth – not even other members of the royal family.

‘Before she died, Queen Elizabeth II made one thing very clear – she did not want Charles to become the next King. A trusted psychic had told her “the son of the Greek will destroy the empire.” She took this to be a warning about Prince Charles ever becoming King, one she took very seriously,’ said our source.

When the Queen fell ill before her death, she concocted a plan with her most trusted members of staff to keep Charles off the throne.

‘Even before the psychic’s warning, she’d always thought of Charles as a jug-eared twat so that was really just the icing on the cake.’

As soon as the Queen fell ill she was whisked away and quietly replaced by a lookalike who pretended to be ill in order to avoid visitors. When the Queen actually died, she was pumped full of embalming fluid and a complicated series of ropes, pulleys and levers controller her movements, effectively making her a human puppet.

‘We got the idea from the 80s classic A Weekend At Bernie’s. It was one of the Queen’s favourite films,’ said our source.

So why is the Queen now pretending to be ill?

‘Simple. Her ropes have worn down and need replacing. She’ll be back – as right as a zombie puppet can be – soon enough. She won’t die until Charles does. However long that takes.’