Queen to enjoy quiet birthday in with a few cans and a kebab

Queen Elizabeth II is set to enjoy her birthday by staying in and having a few cans and a kebab while watching a bit of telly, according to reports.

The first of two birthdays (her official birthday celebration will be June 10th), the Queen has decided to take this one easy with a quiet night in.

‘One knows it is the weekend and the weight of expectation is on a birthday rager, but when one reaches their nineties, one just wants a few cans of Carling, a kebab and to watch a bit of the snooker.’

Indeed, the Queen will have her TV rolled into throne room where she will take off her crown, put her feet up, and enjoy a peaceful evening.

Queen Elizabeth II will stay true to her wished despite pressure from her eldest son, Prince Charles, to spend the night clubbing around the trendiest parts of London.

‘He’s been singing “Take Your Mama Out” all week. He’s on a Scissor Sisters kick at the minute – it’s quite disturbing to be honest,’ she said.