Nostalgia time, folks. Do you remember the Tamagotchi? The virtual pet in your pocket that was, in many ways, a precursor to the misery of constant mobile phone notifications?
Well this man has had one stuck up his arse for twenty years!
John Naylor, 30, was ten years old when the Tamagotchi was at the peak of its popularity. And he couldn’t believe his luck when his parents finally kowtowed to pressure and gave him one to keep him occupied during the school holidays.
‘It was the best thing since sliced bread as far as I was concerned. And I fucking love bread,’ John told us.
John played with his Tamagotchi every day, treating his virtual pet with the utmost care. But it was when the school holidays finished that things hit a bum note.
‘Nearly every kid had one and they were interrupting lessons, so the school decided to ban them,’ said John Naylor
With no pause feature and both his parents at work during the day, John was in a quandary. By leaving his Tamagotchi at home he ran the risk of it dying and that was an unacceptable proposition to the scrappy youngster. Instead he decided to sneak it in to school in his back passage and ‘retrieve’ the toy during playtimes to check on his beloved pet.
And all was going well for a week until, one day, John found himself unable to pass the electronic toy.
‘I must have lodged it in too deep. I’ve not been able to get at it since,’ John told us.
The Tamagotchi has remained impacted in the deep recesses of John’s arse ever since. But now, finally, it may soon be returning to the outside world as John has an operation scheduled to take place next month.
‘It’s taken twenty years for my name to come up for an operation but that’s pretty standard for the NHS.’
And John may actually find himself in the money as a result of the removal. Original Tamagotchis sell for as much as £100 on eBay.
‘It’s like I’ve had a little nest egg growing inside me all these years.’