Rich baby born with half a brain pegged for bright future in Conservative Party

A baby boy born with half a brain is being pegged for a bright future in the Conservative Party, it’s emerged.

Wigbert Goody was born with just half the brain mass of a typical baby. Coupled with having wealthy parents, it’s believed young Wigbert has a bright future in the Conservative Party.

‘If he gets into Eton, he could be a future prime minister,’ said re-incarnated Victorian sweatshop boss, Jacob Rees-Mogg.

The Conservative Party are already scouting the young boy, which is a long-time tradition within their ranks. They were particularly impressed when Wibert threw up after seeing a homeless man.

Wigbert’s half-a-brain would make him the smartest Conservative politician to come along in decades.