A heavy discount on Valentine’s Day cards aimed at siblings has sparked mass riots across Burnley, according to reports.
Thousands of angry Dingles have hit the streets after missing out on the special offer. Police cutbacks mean that only ten officers are available to be dispatched to quell the riots.
‘It’s not enough. We’ve got less police on the streets than the average Burnley resident has toes,’ said PC Ian Bredd.
The card store that featured the special offer has been looted, trashed and burned down – making it perfectly match almost every other store in Burnley.
But that is still not enough for siblings of Burnley looking to express their love for one another, and save a few pennies whilst doing it.
‘I just wanted to be able to share my love with my sister. Is that so wrong?’ asked a man with claws for hands.