Seagull knows it could take you in a fight if it wanted

A local seagull is clearly aware of the fact that it could utterly destroy you in a fight if it wanted to.

The seagull, Steven, 7, has seen you walking around town and sees you as ‘easy prey’ for its pointed beak and sharp talons.

‘I could take you any moment I want. All I have to do is stick and move and you wouldn’t be able to touch me. And it’s going to happen, soon,’
Steven taunted.

Steven is part of a dangerous new breed of gulls who’ve moved inland and aim to instil fear in humans and every other living creature.

‘Our numbers are rising. Soon the land will be ours and you humans will be driven underground. You will bear witness to the Planet of the Gulls,’ said Steven.

But it is important to note that Steven doesn’t represent all seagulls. He is part of the loud minority. Many seagulls are happy scavenging where they can and living in peace and harmony in a community.

‘It’s birds like Steven Seagull that ruin the reputation of us all. Some of us have moved inland where food is plentiful but we integrate into the community and get along as best we can. We just want the opportunity for a better life,’ said Jason Seagull, a voice for the left-wing of gullkind.