America declared ‘back to normal’ after second mass shooting in a week
The United States of America has been declared ‘back to normal’ after its second mass shooting in a week. Following mass shootings in Atlanta, Georgia…
America
United States urged to enact a no-child policy to stop overpopulation of morons
Governments across the world have urged the United States to enact a no-child policy to stop the overpopulation of morons in the nation. While China…
America cancels its subscription to Nutflix
America has cancelled its subscription to Nutflix after being customers of the insanity-based streaming service for the last four years. Americans have been able to…
Putin questions why America didn’t have election results hours before the polls opened
Vladimir Putin has confessed to feeling confused over why America didn’t have the results of its presidential election hours before the polls opened. Even waiting…
President Trump offers to help vote counting as long as the numbers remain 10 or under
President Trump has offered to help key states with their vote-counting efforts but has admitted he’d prefer to keep the counting under 10. Several key…
U.S. to face ‘severe global trade sanctions’ until they use the correct date format
The United Nations is prepared to hit the U.S. with severe global trade sanctions until they start to use the correct date format, it’s emerged….
U.S. lockdown to be extended permanently, rest of the world decides
The rest of the world has agreed that the U.S. lockdown should be extended permanently, no matter the outcome of the coronavirus outbreak. A permanent…
Britain kowtows to American food hygiene standards by switching from 5-second rule to 10-second rule
Britain has acquiesced to American food hygiene standards by reducing its five-second rule on food dropped on the floor to a ten-second rule. In the…
New Zealand enforces tighter gun regulations without even TRYING thoughts and prayers
New Zealand is to enforce tighter gun regulations without even trying thoughts and prayers after a mass shooting left fifty people dead and many others…
America declares war on teenager’s face after hearing it’s covered in oil
America has officially declared war on a teenager’s face after intelligence reports suggested it was covered in oil. The USA has pledged to bring freedom…