Theresa May announces five more years of Conservative government

Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that there will be five more years of Conservative government in a surprise statement outside 10 Downing Street today.

Speaking live to the nation, May announced that there would be a general election later this year, and with Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour Party 21-points behind in some polls, five more years of Tory rule is assured.

‘I am standing here today to announce five more years of cutting services. Five more years of hurting the most vulnerable. Five more years of selling arms to barbaric nations. Five more years of ‘Brexit means Brexit’. Five more years of improving the wealth of my family, friends and colleagues. And sod the rest of you,’ said May in a powerful statement.

The mood has already darkened around Britain with many voters questioning what other choice they have.

‘How can I have for Labour? I like a lot of Corbyn’s policies but have you seen the state of him in a suit?’ questioned one potential voter.

Jeremy Corbyn has already stepped out of the shadows to congratulate Theresa May on her future election win.

‘I’m sure we’ll put up a good fight but it would be wrong of me to ignore democracy. I would like to congratulate the Prime Minister and the Conservative Party. I would also like to state that I have no intentions of stepping down as Labour leader. Thank you.’