Three grandmas put down as inaugural Gran National ends in tragedy

Three grans had to be put to sleep after falling in the inaugural Gran National, a jump race for women over seventy years of age.

In what is being dubbed a disaster for the relatively new sport of granny racing, three of the runners had to be humanely put down after falling at hurdles laid throughout the course.

‘Obviously we’re not happy about the deaths and a full investigation will be made into how these tragedies happened. But let’s not lose sight of how much fun everyone else had, and some lucky people have made quite a lot of money today,’ said event organiser Dick Webbley, one of those lucky people.

Some viewers have pointed out that asking senior women to hurdle over four foot high hedges was always asking for disaster.

‘And the one that dropped into a water pool was just barbaric,’ said one viewer.

In happier news, winning grandma Phyllis King was delighted with her performance. She won a lifetime supply of Werther’s Originals for her efforts.

‘It’s just a shame that the other three couldn’t get round.’