Tinder gets update; swipe down to have person killed

Popular dating app Tinder has announced further updates to its service including the ability to swipe down to have a particularly repugnant person killed.

“This will help create a higher standard of users on Tinder. Of course, someone won’t be killed for just one down swipe on their profile. It will take a dozen down swipes before a highly trained ‘Tinder Hitman’ is sent after them. We assure you that all deaths will be as quick and pain free as possible,” said company spokeswoman, Rosette Pambakian.

Charles Darwin swiped up on this idea.

Charles Darwin swiped up on this idea.

While Tinder has seen a rise in account deletion since the news they have also seen a boosted sign-up rate as hundreds of thousands of new users have said they’re intrigued by the new “sex or death” aspect Tinder now brings.

“Tinder has now become the ultimate metaphor for life. You never know when you’re going to receive a message that someone wants to fuck you or kill you,” new user Mike Rotch told us.

The idea is being referred to as “Darwinian” in its approach to the dating game although there has been some criticism that people may sign-up just to swipe down on as many people as possible. Senator Scott Walker has already been caught swiping down on every Mexican he’s come across.