Twitter running 19% faster after Stephen Fry quits

Twitter chiefs have confirmed that the social media site is running 19% faster since Stephen Fry has quit the service.

Fry closed his Twitter account after many followers took offence to a joke he made about a BAFTA costume design winner looking like a “bag lady”. He went on a tirade against political correctness gone mad and then shut down his account.

Whilst Twitter is built on interaction between celebrities and fans, this may be one celebrity that the social media giant is happy to lose as Stephen Fry’s constant tweeting put such a massive strain on their servers that the site is running 19% faster since he has left and not one “fail whale” has been sighted by the user base.

‘Stephen was really vital to the popularity of Twitter in its early days. He’s something of a national treasure in England and a lot of people signed up just to follow him. Now though he’s become a bit of a moany old sod and he was tweeting so constantly that it was making our servers overheat. You’d have thought he’d have something better to do. I’m a bit worried about what he’s going to do with all his spare time now, truth be told,’ said Jack Dorsey, CEO of Twitter.

Fry fans need not worry though as Stephen has been spotted wandering around London with a stack of postcards, a pen and some sticky tape. He’s been writing his thoughts on the postcards and sticking them wherever he feels they’ll get most eye traffic.