Vaping linked to increased rates of cancer and looking like a bellend

Vapers are being advised to switch back to regular cigarettes after news broke that vaping causes cancer and the e-cig user to look like a cock.

Once heralded as the safer way to get your nicotine rush, vapers have been rocked by medical claims that e-cigarettes may lead to cancer and heart disease. It was also found that non-vapers view them as ‘total bellends’.

Now doctors are urging vapers to switch back to regular cigarettes while e-cigs are investigated more thoroughly.

‘Right now there is no point in vaping if it’s just as bad for you AND makes you look like a big girl’s blouse who can’t handle their drugs in an adult form,’ said Dr Tom Bacco of the Medical Health Institute.

Cigarette manufacturers have promised to help make the transition easier for vapers by releasing new flavours such as ‘Phlegmon Meringue’, ‘Wheeze and Onion’ as well as ‘Black Lung Gateux’.

‘We admit the flavours won’t be as pleasant as vapers are used to, but we’re making every effort to accommodate their needs,’ said Di Sune, head of product development at Benson & Hedges.