People across the world have joined together in urging President Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un to act on their smouldering sexual tension and enjoy a torrid night of passion together.
The increasingly phallic feud between Trump and the man he’s dubbed ‘The Rocket Man’ has become a global ‘will they, won’t they’. And, for the sake of everyone’s sanity, people are asking they get together now to let off some steam.
‘They hide it behind their threats and insults but it’s clear that they really dig each other. I just hope they realise it in time and blow each other before blowing up half the world,’ said Daniel Whyman, a fish hook salesman from Bolton.
While everyone agrees we’re seeing a very public display of homoerotic courtship between the two crazed leaders, not everyone can agree how it should go about.
‘Trump would definitely be the top, he’d bring the heat and show Kim Jong-un how great America is,’ said one proud flag-waving American.
‘Have you seen Don’s booty? Daddy thicc. He’s definitely a bottom,’ said Milo Bananaopolis, a gay journalist of ill-repute.
But even with the rest of the world urging them on, there’s no guarantee that Trump and Jong-un will ever hook up.
Love hurts, but not as much as a 200 megaton nuclear blast.