Keir Starmer fails to impress at Man United trial in attempt to be more like Marcus Rashford

Keir Starmer failed to impress during a recent trial at Man United after being told he should be more like Marcus Rashford.

Rather than leading a competent opposition against the Conservative Party, the Labour leader instead attempted to gain a spot on the Man United squad.

Starmer, who’s no stranger to trials, turned in a disastrous performance on the left-wing. He was then moved to centre midfield before finally being switched to the right-wing of the team, where he looked more comfortable.

Marcus Rashford was in attendance for the trials and kept a watchful eye on proceedings.

‘Starmer didn’t turn in a very good performance. I don’t think he’s got much of a future here. He should stick to his day job, whatever that is,’ Rashford told us.

Boris Johnson also attended the try-out as he desperately wants to bag a job that pays more than £150,000 a year. However, he was kicked out after five minutes after scoring three own goals and attempting to snort the white lines on the pitch.

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