I think we can all agree that a Christmas turkey has become blasé. We’re all sick and tired of sitting down on Christmas Day and eating the blandest and driest of all the meats.

It’s time for something new, something different.

That’s why we here at DailySquat.com would like to recommend that you go with ham this Christmas – and not just because we’re being sponsored by the fine folks at Chroinkmas.

But even when it’s been decided that you’re going to have ham over the holidays, the question remains: how do you prepare it? As far as we’re concerned, there’s only one way to make your Christmas ham.

You blend it!

I’m sure you have a blender or food processor somewhere in your kitchen. Fish it out and put it to good use by making a delicious ham-based savoury smoothie.

We recommend cutting the ham into smaller pieces first and then adding a little honey or orange juice for a pop of sweetness. Set the blender to the highest setting and enjoy the heady aroma of raw pork.

And that’s all you need to do. There’s no cooking time necessary when you blend your ham.

You can really get into the Christmas spirit by adding a swirl of red food colouring and calling your beverage a “Pulverised Santa”. It’s fun for the whole family!

As a bonus, a raw ham smoothie will help you lose weight over the holidays and save you considerable money on a gym membership you’ll never use. Zero out of ten doctors recommend this but we don’t listen to experts in this country, do we?

Bone apple tit!