Brain-eating amoeba dies of starvation after reaching the White House

A brain-eating amoeba has died of starvation after it managed to make its way from Texas to the White House.

It’s unknown exactly how the brain-eating amoeba (naegleria fowleri) managed to reach the White House but it has been stopped in its tracks there, after dying from lack of sustenance.

‘The amoeba was originally found in a municipal water supply in Texas, so how it reached Washington DC we just don’t know. Life finds a way, I guess,’ said one health official.

What officials do know is that the brain-eating amoeba could no longer be found after President Trump drank a glass of tap water.

Holding it with both hands for added stability, the president sipped every last drop of the water, and that’s the last trace anyone has found of the amoeba.

‘My bigly brain must have overpowered it. The Obama [sic] probably died from overeating like I almost did at McDonald’s one time,’ said President Trump.

President Trump claimed that he would usually drink bottled water rather than tap but could no longer afford it, a statement backed-up by his tax returns.