Prince Andrew cancels annual golf trip after Pizza Express in Woking reopens

Prince Andrew has decided to cancel his annual golf trip to Spain after he was informed that the Pizza Express in Woking has reopened.

A long-time hotspot for the wealthy elite, the Pizza Express in Woking will finally reopen this week after being shut down due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

As soon as he heard the news, Prince Andrew cancelled all of his plans. He now aims to spend the entire week stuffing his face with the combination of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and toppings that he loves so much.

‘I’ve not been this excited since Jeffrey told me he’d got a fresh batch of young girls in. Bugger. I meant pizza, not young girls. Don’t publish that, my mum is quite powerful,’ he warned us.

Prince Andrew also denied that he’d cancelled his golfing trip because he was nervous about Ghislaine Maxwell’s recent arrest by the FBI.

‘I’m not worried about that at all. I’ve heard she’s about to be diagnosed with Covid-38, which is like Covid-19, only twice as bad.’