Queen Elizabeth opens OnlyFans account to help make ends meet

Queen Elizabeth II has opened an account on OnlyFans to help make ends meet, according to a statement from Buckingham Palace.

Facing a £30 million loss in revenue due to the coronavirus pandemic, Queen Elizabeth II is going above and beyond to secure her family’s financial future.

‘One needs to show these basic bitches how it’s done,’ she proclaimed.

OnlyFans is a platform that allows creators to post risqué content to subscribers for a fee but it’s not yet known how far the Queen will go to satisfy her fans while earning a fat wad on the side.

‘Will we get to see Her Majesty’s vagesty? Or will it just be the big two upfront? It’s worth subscribing to just to find out,’ said one fan.

Celebrity Bella Thorne was able to make $2 million in just one week on OnlyFans leading experts to speculate about just how much the Queen could make.

‘This is a massive deal. If Bella Thorne could make $2 million in a week, you have to think Queen Elizabeth could make significantly more. She might not have youth on her side but the Queen certainly has back,’ celebrity lover Wayne Kerr told us.