Study finds link between alcohol consumption and not finishing study

A study has found a direct link between scientists consuming alcohol and not finishing said study, according to reports.

The study was originally supposed to look at the effects of alcohol consumption on the brain, but due to funding cutbacks, the scientists were forced to act as their own guinea pigs.

‘Yeah? So fucking what? You want to make something of it, tough guy?’
Dr Scott Greatson told us.

Each scientist drank a varying amount of alcohol each day, except for Dr Lauren Ingle, who was the control subject and also designated driver.

‘Every day has been a living nightmare,’ she confirmed.

It was also Dr Ingle who did the majority of the work. Unfortunately, she found it difficult to concentrate while four of the male scientists took turns trying to hit on her and the majority of the women on the team were either crying or vomiting.