The White House was locked down yesterday after a member of President Trump’s staff attempted to escape its confines.
The staff member has been named as Bart Bright. He burst out of the front doors of the White House at roughly 4pm whilst draped in an American flag and holding a folder.
Witnesses report Mr Bright ran towards the perimeter whilst shouting ‘I’ve got it! He’s going down this time!’ before attempting to scale the fence.
‘He had a real wild look in his eye. He looked more like he’d been held captive in there than a member of staff,’ said one onlooker.
Upon scaling the eleven foot high fence, security were able to shoot Mr Bright with a tranquilliser gun. Upon being shot, the man fell to the floor sobbing. Security then dragged him back inside for a routine pummelling.
The contents of the folder remain a mystery at this time.