Drunk driver heading towards a fall hasn’t felt this good in 20 years

A drunk driver heading straight towards a fall has told us that he hasn’t felt this good in 20 years.

Donnie Pump, 41, drank a fifth of whiskey before deciding to head out for a nice relaxing drive.

He managed to weave in and out of traffic on his way out of town before heading to a more scenic location. It was at this point he decided to call us.

‘I feel amazing,’ he wheezed at us. ‘I haven’t felt this good in twenty years. Don’t let the fear of drink-driving control your life. I’m in control, believe me. Ohhhh shiiitttt!’

It was at that point the phone-call abruptly ended.

Police were able to trace the call and found a fiery wreck in the vicinity. It’s impossible to say if this was Donnie or not though as the body was too badly burned to identify.