God to offer ‘Life+’ paid subscription that removes all adverts and Piers Morgan

God is set to offer a new paid subscription service called ‘Life+’ that will remove all advertisements from everyday life as well as completely block Piers Morgan.

‘Life+’ will allow humans to pay a small monthly fee to remove all forms of advertisements. The biggest boon though is that it will also block out Piers Morgan for subscribers.

‘I don’t make mistakes,’ said God. ‘Except for Piers Morgan. That was a colossal fuck-up, for which I can only apologise. I’ll also throw in a free bonus blocking of James Corden for the first million subscribers.’

However, the apology won’t stop God from monetising his mistake as ‘Life+’ will cost subscribers £49.99 a month. Despite the steep price point, the service is expected to be very popular.

‘Life+’ is expected to bring billions in revenue to God, funds that are sorely needed for His next project.

‘It’s called “Earth 2.0”. It’s like Earth but much better because I’m not going to bother with humans on this one,’ He told us.