Prime Minister Boris Johnson is demanding a pay raise after blowing most of his money on crack dens and brothels, it’s emerged.

Despite being handed £150,000 a year from taxpayers, the prime minister has already spaffed most of it on frivolities.

‘How am I supposed to live on £150,000 a year with a generous expense account, free housing, donations from Russian oligarchs and paid vacations?

‘Crack dens and brothels don’t come cheap, you know. Plus, do you have any idea how many children I have to feed? Because I don’t,’ said Johnson.

Millions of children will go hungry this winter, many of them will be Boris Johnson’s.

There has been rumblings that Johnson wants to include a performance-based incentive scheme to his prime ministerial pay packet.

That may backfire though as, taking into account his current performance, he would actually owe the government money.