Britain has been left hoping that Boris Johnson has another baby, one that gives him the will to govern competently, after learning that the last one gave him the will to live.
After Prime Minister Boris Johnson revealed that his newest baby gave him the will to live through his bout of the coronavirus, Britain was left wondering what other babies could give him.
‘He must get a new skill from every baby he has. With the number of skills he must have built up, it’s amazing that he’s still as incompetent as he is,’ said one Brit.
‘Competency is probably the next skill Boris will acquire. He’s levelling up like in a video game and, much like in a role-playing game, he needs to do some grinding before acquiring new skills,’ said another.
Boris Johnson admits that he finds the idea ‘intriguing’ and is calling for women to volunteer their services to test out the theory.
‘Only the finest fillies though. I’m not shagging a fatty,’ said Johnson, a man with standards beyond what he has to offer.