Health ministers in Italy are growing increasingly concerned after discovering that the coronavirus has mutated into a new strain which they are calling the peronivirus.
The peronivirus is similar to the coronavirus but is stronger, more expensive to treat and also causes victims to smell skunky.
‘We have found signs that the coronavirus has mutated into something we are calling the peronivirus. A lot of people are talking about it but, to be honest, it’s rather overrated,’ said Italian Health Minister Roberto Speranza.
The peronivirus has already caused several Italians to stagger through the streets while vomiting everywhere. All sufferers are now resting in self-isolation with their curtains drawn and a couple of ibuprofen.
This marks the first noted mutation of the coronavirus, though there are fears that every country might get its own version; Belgium is particularly concerned about a possible stellavirus that could make its citizens incredibly violent.
Rumours of a warmalevirus wreaking havoc across Britain are unsubstantiated so far.