Jeremy Corbyn is said to be furious after learning that Tony Blair took a dump in his allotment plot yesterday.
According to an eye witness who was tending his own plot, Tony Blair showed up, dropped his trousers and curled out a weapon of ass destruction while laughing maniacally. He then left without saying a word to anyone.
‘I’ve never seen anything like it and I’ve certainly never smelt anything quite so evil. I had to leave to area for several minutes. It smelled like something had died in Blair. Possibly his soul,’ said Gary Hardacre, eye witness.
While Blair was adding his manure to Corbyn’s allotment, Corbyn was working hard to unite the Labour Party in Westminster. He was in the middle of talks with key party members when Gary texted him the news.
‘As soon as he got the text he got up and said he had to go now,’ said one MP.
Corbyn rushed to his beloved allotment, saw the dump, dropped to his knees and cried to the Gods as it started to rain.
While it’s believed Corbyn will not press charges, he does plan to torch his allotment with a flamethrower.
‘Only fire will purify the area,’ muttered Corbyn.