1062 BC: Greece invents homosexuality smack bang in the middle of Pride Month.

212 AD: Birth of Jim Davidson’s sense of humour.

1214: King Kong signs the Magna Banana. He later violates this by climbing the Empire State Building.

1381: English pleasant revolt is enjoyed by all.

1844: Charles Goodyear patents vulcanization. He later successfully sues the Star Trek franchise for copyright infringement.

1969: Boy hospitalised with bloody fingers from playing the guitar too much. And that man grew up to become…Bryan Adams.

1992: Vice President Dan Quayle spells potato ‘potatoe’, making him the most stupid man to take office in the White House until 2016.

1996: The IRA detonates a bomb outside the Arndale shopping centre in Manchester, causing millions of pounds of improvements.

2006: Bill Gates leaves his day-to-day role as head of Microsoft to spend more time cheating on his wife.