McDonald’s to introduce Unhappy Meals for young goths

Fast-food giants McDonald’s are set to introduce Unhappy Meals to draw more goth children to their restaurants.

McDonald’s Happy Meals have been criticised for not being inclusive towards miserable children and the Unhappy Meal is seen as the answer to that.

The Unhappy Meal will come in a black faux-leather box and include a choice of food and drinks like spider nuggets, tombstone-shaped burgers, ink-black fries and black coffee.

There will be no toy included in the Unhappy Meal as goth children hate to play. Instead, they could receive a loose cigarette, some cheap black make-up, or a Morrissey CD.

The Unhappy Meal will hit McDonald’s stores in October and will be priced at a suitably spooky £6.66.

Goth children will be allowed to emotionally abuse the staff and anyone dressed like Ronald McDonald, just as any other child is.