‘Now I’m immune everyone else can do whatever the fuck they want,’ laughs Boris

Prime Minister Boris Johnson is making a big push to end the coronavirus lockdown after realising he’s now immune to the disease so it doesn’t really affect him any more.

The lockdown will be swiftly ended now that Johnson believes himself to be safe from the disease.

‘Now that I’ve already suffered through the virus and am immune to it, I don’t see much of a point to keeping up this lockdown. It doesn’t do me any favours so I say lift the lockdown and let’s get the economy back on track. Work for your masters until you drop,’
laughed Johnson.

Not only is Johnson now immune to the coronavirus but he also finds himself increasingly bored locked down in a home with his fiancée and new baby.

‘I need to get out of the house to get shagging done,’ he revealed.

Home Secretary Priti Patel has applauded the move, as long as Boris doesn’t come knocking on her backdoor again.

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