Vladimir Putin has confessed to feeling confused over why America didn’t have the results of its presidential election hours before the polls opened.
Even waiting for the polls to close is too long, according to the Russian president.
‘In Russia, we already know the election results before the polls have even opened. There’s no need to wait for them to close.
‘There’s no need for polls and voting at all. We just pick a number between 75 and 90 and decide that’s the percentage of the people who voted for me. Then we shoot a few thousand people for added realism.
‘America would be wise to adopt this policy in the future. It’s much quicker and more efficient. There’s no need to go to bed with anxieties,’ said Putin.
In related news, President Trump is currently attempting to sign an Executive Order which would give Russia 280 electoral college votes in America.