A study published today has confirmed the belief that drinking too much alcohol makes you an absolute top-bollocks legend.
A team of scientists followed a group of heavy drinkers for a year and found that each one of them was regularly referred to as an ‘absolute legend’ or some similar equivalent.
‘It’s long been theorised that drinking more alcohol than is advised makes you a legend, we can now confirm that fact,’ said Dr Al Key.
‘Excess alcohol consumption leads to people – predominantly men – performing daring escapades such as pretending to hump lamp posts, climbing lamp posts, falling off lamp posts and fighting lamp posts. All of which qualifies you to be a legend in this era,’ he continued.
Anyone wishing to be described as an absolute legend is now being advised to find their upper limit of alcohol consumption and then to blast through it was a couple of shots.
Those who don’t attain legendary status will instead be granted the much less prestigious title of ‘fucking lightweight’.