Boris Johnson denies allegations that he once told the truth

Prime Minister Boris Johnson has today denied allegations that he once told the truth, a serious accusation against any Conservative politician.

The allegation comes after Boris lied to Queen Elizabeth II, fibbed about inappropriately touching a journalist, and told porkies about his relationship with Jennifer Arcuri.

‘If my recent record doesn’t prove my ability as an ardent liar, I don’t know what will,’ said the exasperated Johnson.

The allegation is considered to be a weak one as an example hasn’t been given.

‘We aren’t giving these accusations against our prime minister much thought. He’s considered to be the greatest liar among us. Boris Johnson isn’t even his real name,’ said one Conservative MP.

If Boris Johnson is found to have ever told the truth, it’s likely he will lose his job as the prime minister and could be forced into a special care home for ex-Conservatives – the Lib Dems.