Conservative Party makes itself illegal after promising to get tough on the causes of crime

The Conservative Party has accidentally made itself illegal after pledging to get tough on the causes of crime, it’s emerged.

Boris Johnson and leading figures in the Conservative Party are now wanted by the police after they pledged to get tough on the causes of crime.

‘Our statistics show that the Conservative Party and their policies are the leading cause of crime. Plus, the Conservative Party itself is chock-full of white-collar criminals,’
said DI Sco of Scotland Yard.

Prime Minister Boris Johnson is now thought to be on the run, although anyone who’s seen him jogging is claiming it’s more of a waddle.

The Lib Dems are also wanted for questioning due to their connection to the Conservative Party, as are the DUP.