Pervert disappointed after realising it wasn’t the ‘Queen’s peach’

A pervert has been left thoroughly disappointed after expecting to see the Queen’s peach today, only to be greeted with her waffling on about politics instead.

Bob Turner, 69, was hoping to catch a glimpse of the Queen’s derrière after mishearing word about the Queen’s Speech.

‘I thought “phwoar”, it’s about time they sexed up the Royal Family a bit. And who wouldn’t want a peek at her madge’s fatty?

I pay my taxes, they pay the Royal Family, ipso facto I should get to see Liz’s peach,’ Bob told us.

Indeed, Queen Elizabeth II didn’t offer so much as a single rearview and there was definitely no Teutonic twerking.

The patriotic pervert instead had to make do with switching over to ‘This Morning’ to ogle Holly Willoughby like the rest of us.