Johnson promises to deliver Brexit in two weeks or he’ll ruin the economy for free

PM Boris Johnson has promised that he will deliver Brexit in the next two weeks or he’ll ruin the economy for free.

Johnson made the promise after rumours began to swirl that he would be asking for yet another extension to the Brexit deadline.

Look, there is absolutely no truth to all that. There will be no more Brexit extensions. I promise to deliver Brexit by October 31st or I’ll crash the economy at no extra charge. You can’t say fairer than that, can you?’ he said.

It’s believed Johnson got the idea for the pledge after ordering a pizza delivery which didn’t get to him on time due to the number of protestors outside 10 Downing Street.

‘It was cold by the time it got here, so they didn’t charge me. There was also an awful lot of green lumps on top of it. I’m sure they were just vegetables or something though,’ said Boris.