“Dying not as bad as not getting a steak,” claims Jeremy Clarkson

Jeremy Clarkson has made a bold claim that dying is not as bad as not getting a steak when you’re hungry, it’s emerged.

The former “Top Gear” presenter believes that people shouldn’t worry so much about a global pandemic and the looming threat of death when there are bigger issues at hand.

“If you die, you die,” he began. “There’s no point in being afraid of death. What people should be afraid of is getting punched by me if I don’t get a delicious steak dinner.

“I think we need to put things into perspective. Yes, a pandemic is happening and the climate is fucked, but I’m very hungry. The only thing that can satiate me is a big, juicy steak.

“You did say you were going to buy me a steak dinner for this interview, right? Come on then, let’s get going. Otherwise, you’re going to be on the receiving end of a jab that will definitely be bad for your health.”

Clarkson then drove us at a highly illegal speed to the nearest steakhouse, mowing down several people along the way.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” he told us.

Be the first to comment on "“Dying not as bad as not getting a steak,” claims Jeremy Clarkson"

Leave a Reply